When I was a young girl, I always felt somewhat empty inside, and I new something was missing, but I just didn't know what. Throughout my years growing up I remember a few happy moments, but for the most part, they were sad. Still, in the midst of my desolation something was absent inside and I often asked myself, but still no answer could be found. Meanwhile, after birthdays, holidays, friends and some loved ones passed, a feeling of rage, sorrow, and bitterness consumed every portion of my soul. Philosophical questions such as, "why am I here" and "what is the purpose of my being" often pondered my brain daily. Furthermore, I often asked, "am I here on this Earth just to live and die? My search for clues and reasons always ended unanswered.

Now I'm in my twenties, I have my own place, a good job, and a nice car, "O.K." things are starting to make some sense now. I even met a guy, make that a lot of guys, "hey this is kind of cool!" Now, I'm finally having fun and enjoying life, and all the happiness and pleasure that I was missing before, I think I found it!! As 21 turned to 22 life is starting to lose its spark once again. The feeling of depression and loneliness is starting to sink in, and there's no cure. Is there a black aura around me continuously robbing me of my inner peace? Endlessly refusing to allow me to ever find true happiness. .

All this was crashing down on me again until one day I heard about a man, but not just any man. This man walked on water, turned water into wine, and fed thousands of people with just five loaves of bread, and He also promised peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding. Wow, now I would love some of that and all I have to do is ask? I don't know, that sounds way too easy. However, I weighed my options and said, "what do I have to lose?" So, I asked Him into my life and at that moment everything became so clear to me. Why I exist and my purpose in life all came to focus. I'm here not for my benefit, but for His glory and anytime I find myself in a stressed state, all I have to is call on His name, how great is that? .

In closing, I know I will still have ups and downs in this life, but it is also good to know my pain won't be in vain. I'm not that little girl anymore crying confused tears at night, or the teenager wondering the purpose of my being. I am a woman, a new creation, and a new spirit dwells within me. Therefore, I know "I can do all this through Christ who strengthens me!" - Philippians 4:13

I finally found that inner peace!